Desperate Times

While I was in seminary working on my masters degree at Southwestern Seminary I had the pleasure of sitting under the leadership of Richard and Lisa Blackaby as my Sunday School teachers at Wedgewood Baptist in Ft. Worth.  Since then our paths have not crossed but I read one of Richard’s books sometime ago and he told of an incident in the life of his Daniel.  It seems that Daniel had developed a severe case of insomnia.  Now this was not a situation which lasted for a brief period but rather persisted for several months.  During this time it was not uncommon for Daniel to go without sleep for up to 72 hours at one time.  Although Richard and Lisa took their son to specialists they could not determine any specific cause for this disorder.

At one point Daniel reached an ultimate low physically and spiritually in which he cried out to God in desperation.  That particular night Daniel cried out to God at 3:00 AM in complete and honest abandonment.  His words were something like, “Don’t You care about me?  Don’t You know what I’m going through?  Why do You answer prayers for my friends and family but not my prayers for sleep?  God, if You care about what I’m going through, I need to know---and I need to know soon.” 

Not long after that restless night of little to no sleep in conversation with God Daniel received a letter from a young girl in his youth group who lived just down the street from him.  The letter began to explain how she had been awakened one night recently with an overwhelming sense of urgency to let him know something which God was speaking to her.  Fearing that she might awaken Daniel, for it was in the early hours of the morning, she wrote him a letter instead of calling.  In the letter she simply wrote Mt. 11:28 which states, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  Additionally she stressed that God did love Daniel and He had not abandoned or forgotten him but rather He had a special plan for his life. 

Incredibly after speaking with the author of the letter Daniel confirmed that the letter had been written the very night he wrestled with God.  In fact, it was written at the precise time, 3:00 AM, which Daniel had cried out to God for affirmation and answers.  Although Daniel still did not understand the reason for his insomnia, he knew he was not alone in this dilemma. 

Blackaby went on to tell that as amazing as that night was the story did not end there.  Daniel continued to struggle with sleepless nights for some time.  However, the following summer while at youth camp Daniel began to learn the depth of why God allowed this painful experience to continue.  To deal with some serious problems within the youth group, Daniel’s youth pastor gathered the group together while at camp.  During the session the youth were to tell about various issues they were facing individually.  Daniel shared about his insomnia and the struggles pertaining to it. 

Afterwards a young lady told of her struggles with relationships and how one night at her home she became overwhelmed with the thoughts of suicide as a result of failures in her life.  Desperately wanting someone to talk with but realizing the lateness of the hour she did not know what to do.  However, she remembered Daniel and knew of his situation.  As a last ditch effort she logged onto the computer hoping he might be online allowing her to chat with him.  To her surprise and joy, Daniel was still online.  After talking for sometime her sense of wanting to commit suicide was gone.  She closed her time of sharing with the youth group by saying if it were not for Daniel being up that night, I would be dead. 

Ironically, afterwards a young man told a similar story of how he planned to commit suicide early one morning but wanted to say goodbye to at least one person.  He remembered Daniel and called him at 4:00 AM.  Daniel answered on the first ring and they talked for some time.   The young man stated that if it had been for Daniel talking with him that night then he would be dead.  Four others shared stories of how Daniel had come to be their source of encouragement during the struggles of their life as well.  Suddenly Daniel began to realize that God wanted to use him to help others.  He realized that his inconvenience was for the salvation of others.  He knew that God had not abandoned him but chose to use him in an extraordinary way.

Often I have felt as Daniel.  There have been times when I have cried out to God, “Where are You? Don’t You care about me?  Why won’t You help me?”  That is when God reminds me to trust Him.  I found a verse of scripture recently that summarizes God’s plans wonderfully.  In Psalm 50:15 I read “Call on Me in a day of trouble; I will rescue you, and you will honor Me.” 

God has not abandoned us.  He has not forgotten us.  He still is very close by our side to rescue us from our times of trouble.  However, He may delay in His answer so that we can grow, others can find Him, and He can be glorified.  So when God seems distant or does not answer, trust Him.  Looking over my life I can say with experiential affirmation not anticipatory hope that God knows what He is doing.

Only Trust Him,

Pastor Ric

Daniel’s story comes from Unlimiting God by Richard Blackaby